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Pauline Esson

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October 12, 2006

Silly Soul

Horse_laughing_1

I love this encouragement from the wonderful people at Higher Awareness to lighten up.

Today, they chose the words and I chose the photo.

"Dance through your day

"Mix a little foolishness with your serious plans: it’s lovely to be silly at the right moment."

-- Horace

Today, we invite you to do the Take-Your-Time Tango. In his book ‘Games for the Soul,’ Drew Leder challenges us to dance through our days with the graceful, slow elegance of a tango dancer.

Slow down a notch," Leder counsels. "Do whatever you do in a calm and leisurely fashion. ... As much as possible, don’t be driven by inner fear, external deadlines, or rushed companions to stumble through a speeded-up dance. Act as if you have all the time in the world. Come to think of it, you do: No one else has any more hours."

So stand (or sit) tall. Raise your chin as you gather your full concentration, dignity and self confidence to glide smoothly and beautifully through the day.

"We look at the dance to impart the sensation of living in an affirmation of life, to energize the spectator into keener awareness of the vigor, the mystery, the humor, the variety, and the wonder of life."

-- Martha Graham"

October 11, 2006

What about at work?

Woman_in_suit_point_to_idea Is it OK to take your soul to work? 

If you feel something's not quite right, could do with another look at how it's going to be done, is it OK to point it out?

How much genuine willingness is there to really hear alternative viewpoints?

What happens when you try to listen to and live from your soul and to raise those issues at work?

I'd love to hear how that is for you, what you've tried to do.  Things that help and things that stand in the way.

Leave a comment here or e-mail me paulineesson@thepracticalsoul.com

October 10, 2006

Try this

Sleeping_woman If you've not heard sight nor sound of your soul for sometime.

If you believe it to have abandoned you in favour of someone else.

If you're missing the wisdom and the guidance in your life.....

TRY THIS

For a week, keep a notebook and pen by your bedside and as you wake every morning, catch yourself before you really wake up and before your mind starts to work and.....

Write down your waking thoughts.

Once captured, just carry them with you as you go through your day and the rest of your week and see what you make of them.

Let your mind say anything it wants about the absurdity or otherwise of your waking thoughts and then just ignore it.

See what happens.  Let me know. 

October 09, 2006

Post fair fever

I'm back from the Mind Body and Soul fair this weekend infused with energy.

It was great to be out there away from the computer to actually rather than virtually meet so many people all shedding old ego driven behaviour and stepping forward listening to their souls. So wonderful, so liberating.

After working at the weekend, I had planned to have a day off today, to do little and relax.

Instead I'm wooshing about the place, sweeping through rooms cleaning and clearing out like a breath of fresh air with nothing remaining afterwards that is excess to requirements.

I'm hugely, hugely into the benefits of clutter clearing.

How's your clutter?  Are your files, bookcases, wardrobes stuffed full of stuff you don't use, that's in excess of your requirements? 

Just like your body at Christmas, if it's stuffed full of food in excess to requirements.  Think how you move (if at all) after that.

Stuffed cupboards, files, bookcases, wardrobes....same effect on the way you move but without you noticing particularly.   

If things are so full, so clogged up, there's no room for fresh, exciting, invigorating things. If you're feeling stuck, with any area of life stagnating, have a look to see what your physical clutter is like in that area.

How's your desk drawer?  Anything in there you don't use, haven't used for 6 months or more.  Let it be gone. Right now.

Cast your mind's eye over one room in your house at a time. 

Where is it most in need of a good clear out?  How about taking an hour tonight to shift some stagnating stuff?

I can't tell you how much I love shifting stuck stuff.  Do tell me about yours and what happens as a result of your clearing. 

October 05, 2006

Roll Up Roll Up again

Ticket_1 I wondered whether you might be sitting there pondering ways of feeding your soul this weekend.....

and thought I'd remind you just how many possibilities for soul feeding there will be available at the Mind Body and Soul fair in St Albans Arena this Saturday 7th and Sunday 8th October.

There's over 75 exhibitors.

Healing.  Do look out for Patricia and her Pranic Healing.

Therapies, massage, reflexology......

Aura photography, dream analysis.......

and talks...lots of free talks.

Talking of talks, I have a correction to make. I'll be giving the opening talk of the day on Saturday at 11.30am not 10.30am as I said before.  Apologies.

75 exhibitors....not forgetting Soul Coaching. There's a chance for us to meet really rather than virtually and talk about all things soulful.

I have special fair offers....

Taster sessions (at a low, low price) for those not familiar who'd like to try it out

A free draw to win a coaching session

and 3 for 2 offers on coaching sessions booked at the fair.....mmmm tempting......

I hope you can make it. 

October 04, 2006

Most need it when can least afford it

Img_0009 It's a very very busy week.  In the midst of it do I still hold onto my soul, let myself be quiet and still for a moment or do I abandon all that feeds me and keeps me on the rails in favour of the short term demands of the week.

It's at times when you're most in need that it's hardest to fit it in.

So I thought it a good day to offer you the chance of a minute out and my sunflower to give you a focus away from what's rushing through your mind right now.

Save it up?  Or take it now.  Just a minute.

there's nothing to do......

for just this minute........

but gaze at the yellow and the way the petals are arranged round the rich centre....

and take a few deeper breaths, letting your shoulders relax....

and your body settle a little....

nothing you have to do....for just this minute.

October 03, 2006

This is the biggie!

Chair_fly_ride What is soul?

Have you ever tried 'googling' 'soul'?  83,200,000 responses. A myriad of answers and ways of looking at it.
There was a car advert on TV recently that said (in a French accent that I find quite delightful),
"Wot eez soul?   Ooo nose?  We onlee no wen eet ees zere we love eet and wen eet ees gone we mees eet"
I like that , then again, it might just be the accent. I like the innocent contentment to leave it as an unfathomable mystery.
Religions, non denominational spiritual teachers, shamans and many private individuals seek to fathom those depths, spending lifetimes in contemplation, in search of the riches to be had there.  Looking for the bliss, the joy, the light.
What do you do though, if you're not content to leave it as an unfathomable mystery, but haven't got a lifetime you want to dedicate to contemplation? 
There's many, many ways of defining it to be had. 83,200,000 at the last count.
We could pick a definition that feels right and go with that?
I'm very fond of Margaret Benefiel's definition in her book
'Soul at Work'.
            " 'Soul' is the lived manifestation of spirituality in an
                 individual, a family or an organisation." 
Spirituality she defines as "the human spirit, fully engaged"
So there we are.  Now we know what soul is.  Are we done?
No, no...This isn't just an intellectual exercise.  I want the bliss and the joy and all those things. I want to get it off the page and somehow to live it.
So then a different question.
What does soul look like when it is lived?
We could be forgiven for giving up at this point. More effort than I have time for. Isn't there a nice easy definition that I can pick up and run with, slot in mentally and measure against that in the future as soul matters arise?
Or,shrug our shoulders, say 'Ooo nose?' and get back to our very long, very pressing list of things to do that's always there waiting.
But we're very close.  I'm hanging in there.  I'm on a promise of bliss and joy and I'm not giving up now.
If it's true that  "Wen eet ees zere, we love eet.", then to remember the moments when we've loved things would be getting close.
I love it when I see soul lived in other people or in what they have produced.
The character Billy Elliot dancing, a boy transformed, completely alive,magnificent and an absolute joy to watch.  That's it, it's here.  We've got it...we've got real joy.
A wooden bowl I have that has been carved with such love, care and attention.  I can feel it.  It is imbued with soul.
A sip of  Reggiano Rosso wine.  There is no way that it's an automated process with a night watchman smoking and watching the TV.  They love it...they must...you can taste it.
Gabriel Faure's Requiem, Monteverdi Choir and Orchestre Revolutionaire et Romantique, that particular production is exquisite, it stops me in my tracks and has me sat stock still, feeling it flood through me.  It commands attention and transports me.  I honestly find myself in a blissful state.
  You could argue that any choral track could do that, but that's not what I've found.  I'm not a great opera fan but I do love Carmen.  I have one production of it on CD where it's all rushed and they sound like they want more than anything to be finished and off to the pub.  I have another, not any minutes longer, where I can feel every emotion as if I was in it myself.
It seems for me that if something has been produced by someone or a group living from their soul at the point when they produced it, then it will reach out and touch me.
Those are such joyful experiences that I think to live a whole life only witnessing soul in others would be bliss enough.
It seems enough, but for sure it delivers only a  fraction of the bliss and joy that's possible when you too live from your soul.
Walt Whitman was onto it.  "Ask not what the world needs but what makes you come alive, because what the world needs, is people who have come alive."
How would you rate your aliveness at the moment?
Someone once asked me, when I was in a low spot, "What makes your heart sing?"  I realised as time ticket by without me finding anything to reply that it had been quite some time since my heart had sung. A fair few things about my life at the time were not condusive to coming alive. 
Aliveness shows me I'm living from my soul.  Other things too show me;
when I'm completely absorbed, flowing, lost track of time and quite unaware of anything other than what I'm doing
an absence of anxiety, guilt, shame, fear, ego and other things that have me make decisions or behave in ways I don't like so much when I look back on them
How is it looking for you, what's your soulful decision tally like as you look back over decisions large, like what work you're going to do, or small, to rest or to dance this evening?
Who's taking most of your decisions and shaping your life, your soul, true to you or your ego, worrying what others will think, feeling guilt, shame or fear?
I think it's probably more than a human can hope for that all life is lived from your soul and every decision taken in consultation with it, but one  more than yesterday is better than one less, and one at a time builds up.
 
I'd like it if once you got connected to your soul, that was it. You're now in bliss and that's how it will always be. Same as cleaning the house, I'd like it if that was that. It is now clean and that is how it will stay.
I find it unfortunately easy to lose the connection, moments of being busy and it's gone. And getting the connection back in the midst of a so busy, so hurried life takes a desire to carve out the space on a daily basis. But I'm running onto another subject of how.   The question today was what is soul and how would we recognise it if we came across it in a life.
Well, reaching some of the places where there's joy , remembering the times that have been blissful....does that mean we've also found soul?
I say yes!
What do you say?  I'd love to hear your thoughts.   You can e-mail me at paulineesson@thepracticalsoul.com
or leave a comment here at the blog
Ref  Soul at Work, Margaret Benefiel, Seabury Books 2005.
More on Margaret's book at the blog soon.

October 02, 2006

Sarah's A-Z

Biker So, how do you keep your soul levels topped up?

  Here's Sarah's A-Z.

  I'm amazed at how many of Sarah's are also mine, (apart from the big hairy biker, my big hairy biker position is currently vacant).

Asides from that though, I'm beginning to think that she is me, and I'm her, and that we broke off unknowingly from our core self at some point and have been living parallel lives ever since.

Then again I wonder if there's a sort of core of soul topping things that we all share.  Let me know.

And if you want to get in touch with Sarah just e-mail me at paulineesson@thepracticalsoul.com and I'll pass you on.

Sarah’s soul food A-Z

A-      Amazon! Book shopping-24/7-heaven….and that lovely page where they make suggestions, just for you. Oh and the wish list thingy that you can idle away hours filling up. And lovely parcels a few days later.

B-       Big Biker Hugs. (or BBH’s as we call them in text speak) Not that I make a habit of cruising for affection at the ACE café you understand, but a big hairy hug from me old fella is very restorative.

C-     Cleaning. Just call me Monica (that’s ‘er off of Friends, not the Lewinsky woman) The act of it as well as the result cleanses me of wrath and other soul destroying emotion.

D-     Domestic goddessery. Not so much your regular housework (despite ‘C’ above) but more your cake making. Baking I find very restorative, and above all it makes my hair smell nice. As well as the whole house. And I give my bosomy wonders to others so I don’t get too tempted to eat them all, so it gives pleasure as well. Hurrah!

E-       “Evs” This could be either of my brothers, as we all use the same nickname for each other. I adore my wonderful relationship with these 2 people who are just like me, only men. People who understand me at a deep genetic level. And environmental since we all had the same mum! I speak to one or other of them most days, and we always have a knicker-wetting laff when we are all together.

Oh and Ella of course, my little lady aged nearly 7 going on 27. Delicious child: great company, very funny, makes me cry with pride on a regular basis…ooh I’m off….

F-       THE word. Saying it (a lot…ahem), doing it (not as much as I could be)…need I say more. Also ‘father sky’- when I am feeling stressed, lying on my back and looking up into vastness is very soothing. Doesn’t work so well in Oxford St however…

G-     Gorgeous. The word, the attitude, the compliment. Looking around for gorgeousness reminds me to focus on good stuff, and telling myself I am when I am feeling anything but helps too.

H-      Harley Davidson. Being a pillion on one. Such a treat! and also one place where I NEVER back seat drive, so I can relax and go ‘off duty’. And Heat magazine. Laugh out loud, forget-yourself fluff.

I-         Intuition. I always regret ignoring it. Very helpful when I am tempted to get all ‘heady’ and over analytical. Restores my faith in what I just ‘know’

J-       Johnny! Me man!

K-      Karaoke! How much do I love my karaoke machine? Ask all my friends. Those I have left. What better than a sing song to chase the blues away, or bring them in (but only the musical sort) I have been known to get the machine out and have a blast on my own of a morning. No audience required. Oh and while we are at it, Kate Bush. The sound of my youth and my favourite karaoke ‘turn’! I can still lose myself in one of her albums.

L-       Love. In all its guises: tough, tender etc. Also the question “what would love do?” And Lush bath bombs.

M-     Mucking around. Being juvenile in all its forms. How to feel better instantly!

N-     Naughty. Such a desirable quality, particularly in one who wants to do ‘M’ above. Where would I be without a good dose of being naughty, usually with David Cripps.

O-     Outdoors. Blowing the cobwebs away.

P-      Penny, my best friend of 38 years: phonecalls, pouring a drink, pouring it out…

Q-     Quiet

R-      Ragdale- by far the best spa retreat- mainly cos the staff are so lovely but also cos they have a great little room called the retreat full of comfy chairs and quilts where you can go to sleep…mmmmmmmmm…..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

S-       Sushi, my favourite treat;  speed dating (got me out of self pity and into dating again!)

T-        Tomatoes that smell like tomatoes and remind me of my granddad and his greenhouse

U-      Understood. As in being understood. Like letting out a big breath you have been holding for ages. Aaaaaaaaaaaaahh………

V-      Vegetables! So delicious, so clean, so fabulous. Can’t get enough of ‘em. What better way to stuff yourself and still feel good inside.

W-    Weeping. I love a good cry! Trouble is, as I get older, seems I’m ‘off’ at the slightest provocation: adverts, the news, Ella performing in any way however minor e.g. school assembly. School assembly in and of itself! I’m off as the 6 year olds start filing in for god’s sake… Certain songs I can’t even get beyond the first line on the karaoke… Hymns, and I’m an atheist!

X-      Xtravagance. Upgrade yourself, go on, you know you want to. You’re worth it…

Y-       Yelling. Sometimes only a good shout will do me. Followed swiftly of course by reparation….

Z-       Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Lovely sleep, the great healer. I LOVE my bed. I love to sleep. I love big duvets and deep soft luxury mattresses…..I….(yawn)……zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

September 29, 2006

Ballet Hoo was a right ballyhoo!

Img_0017 Looking pretty good after seven hours in the car!

I thought today this blog would be bursting at the seams, flowing over with warmth and joy at the groundbreaking event I'd witnessed last night.  I thought I'd be painting a picture of hope for the future of youth and absolutely brimming with inspirational and so very soulful stories of the young people involved in the Ballet Hoo project.

Only last week I watched the Channel 4 TV programme (one of 4, 2 still to come, ) tracking the progress of the 200 disadvantaged teenagers taking part in the 18 month Ballet Hoo programme.  It combines intensive life coaching with strict and disciplined ballet training and a very firm hand holding everyone responsible for their actions whilst understanding how difficult their circumstances might be.  Any rule breaking, such as not turning up on time is dealt with fairly and very firmly.

We wept pretty much throughout the hour long TV programme.  So, so moved by the efforts against all odds of some of the teenagers, by the openness of guys who had been to prison to say that they found a ballet performance they'd seen gripping and beautiful. And really touched by the love and understanding and skill of the coaches, co-ordinators and ballet professionals working on the project. They are pouring themselves into freeing the souls of the young people on this project.

Last night was the culmination of the project in a live, full length performance of Romeo and Juliet at the Birmingham Hippodrome.  After watching the TV programme we knew we wanted to be there to see the performance and I spent a fair part of the next day online and on the phone trying to get through to get tickets.  I got the last 4 tickets.   

Delighted to be going we set off but never got there. We came to a stop less than quarter of a mile behind a traffic accident that was described as carnage by those who saw it and stayed there while countless ambulances, fire engines and police cars flew past us. We started moving again only after the performance would be over, limped back home both gutted not to have seen the performance and very grateful we'd not been in the accident.

If you'd like to experience a little hope for the future of young people, I can't recommend it highly enough.  I have only once been more moved and impressed by a project of this kind. (I'll post about the other project shortly).

There's still a couple of programmes left to see on Wed, Channel 4, 10pm.  The performance we hoped to see live last night is being shown on Channel 4 TV on Saturday 7th October at 6.45pm.

We're all busy then but we'll be taping it then making an evening of watching it.  Champagne and tissues I think.

September 28, 2006

Fresh perspective

Eiffel_tower_another_perspectivel I was blogging on the other day about how do you remember your soul in times when everything's going horribly wrong, (see 17th September post Take a Minute).

I wondered, when things are going wrong and you're tense and it's easiest just to allow yourself to react, and much, much harder to take a minute or even a second's pause to bring in the wiser perspective of your soul, what do you do? 

Would it help to have a sort of emergency soul cupboard, with things that you could go to at the drop of a hat, that would divert you for that crucial minute before you react.

Gaze at the sky, or a picture of the sky was my thing and later  Rosamonde offered her picture of a tree... most gorgeous.

Now Carla has offered her perspective for occasions when there's the chance to put a bit more time between now and a decision.  You can hear more from Carla at her blog .  She says

"I like to drive home on a different road and take in a new sight.  Taking a moment to see my way home from a different angle.  The same thing applies to sitting at a different spot at the dinner table, sleeping in your extra bedroom one night, letting someone else drive your car or spontaneously inviting someone you barely know over for supper.  Anything that brings a fresh perspective."

It begs the question for me of how often do I try to see things from other perspectives before deciding about them. I'm mulling on that one now.

The picture is of The Eiffel Tower.  Just not from the usual perspective.